Control Freaky, Part One: Juggling Cats

This will be about my boobs yet again. Boobs, movies, boobs. Can you tell there isn’t a lot going on in my life?  Also, this will probably be terribly boring unless you’re me or considering surgery yourself. Everyone else should maybe skip it.

So. Lab work normal: check. Back to focusing on my least favorite piece of this puzzle–the money.

OneMain still wanted to give me $7500, which helped, but was still two grand short. I had $1500 in savings thanks to my bonus pay period, but I wanted that for a nice big safety net in case I occasionally needed a little help with the payments (which I didn’t anticipate happening–I didn’t want this badly enough to take on a monthly expense I wasn’t certain I could afford–but you know Life is a master of curveballs).  So we were focusing on getting Tery’s car paid off so I could use it to make up the difference.

The problem was she had three more months to get to that point. And by now, three months felt like three years. Even once we had the title, I needed my name on it for the loan, and I read on the interwebs that a new title could take up to two months to arrive. That kind of a wait would be more than I could bear.

(At the beginning of this, I was going to take my time, do it all right and not rush into anything.  A few short months later and I’m wondering how I could’ve forgotten so completely my biggest character flaw, my terrifying, towering lack of patience.)

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Most people learn this about me the hard way

I had the money now.  She would pay me back, albeit slowly, but in her current situation that car payment was a 2-ton anvil over her head every month. And the car loan would come off my credit report (because I had co-signed for it).  This seemed like the very definition of a win-win-win.

So I paid off her car, even foregoing the easy online method to talk to a person to make sure they would expedite shipping. They would FedEx it to me and charge me eight dollars for the service.

Here’s my second biggest flaw, though I suppose it might be impatience’s ugly twin sister:  I’m a bit of a control freak. I don’t like trusting other people to do things, because I don’t expect my needs to be as important to them as they are to me (nor should they be.  But that still leaves me hoping for the best but expecting the worst).

Meanwhile, in the spirit of positive thinking, I started buying scar treatment supplies, just to feel like SOME forward progress was being made.

I waited a very impatient week before calling them back. Turns out the shipping department can’t or doesn’t read the notes that the title department leaves, so it was sent regular post. THIS IS PRECISELY WHY I’M A CONTROL FREAK.  Because to err is human and I can’t stand errors.  But it also happened to arrive that afternoon anyway, and I got the eight dollars back, so that worked out okay.  (Put it straight back into the pot. Only $1992 to go…)

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YES. EXACTLY.

I immediately went back to OneMain with the news. They quickly re-ran the numbers and said, “yep, with the title we can definitely do $10,000.”

I thought I was in the clear. I thought that was my last major hurdle. I breathed a sigh of relief. This whole paragraph should reek of foreshadowing, if you know me at all.

They told me I had to get a new title with my name on it. It could only be done at a certain office, and I had to ask for same day service which they hated doing so I would have to beg, plead, and weep a little if necessary. I am no good at any of these things.  But she said she was still waiting on titles from March to show up for other clients, so that was the alternative.

Meanwhile, yet ANOTHER piece of the puzzle was time off work. I was slightly panicked because I have lots of coworkers with families who like to take summer vacations, and the company had already put a moratorium on requests through July. So best case scenario was August, and every day I felt a big invisible clock ticking away before that got shut down as well (if this is what the “biological clock” feels like (I don’t seem to have one), no wonder women lose their minds).

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Ugh, no, piss off child

I couldn’t take the pressure (control freaky) and I scheduled my surgery for September 2, which I hoped would give me time in case I had to wait for the title. Finally having a date made me feel enormously better…

…until about an hour later, when I suddenly remembered I was still a woman and my period was due the week after, which would make my recovery process that much more unpleasant.  I decided to see how things went at the DMV before pestering the poor surgery scheduler further.

Turns out, things couldn’t have gone better.  We had to wait an hour (listening to plenty of anti-government grumbling from old people behind us. Listen, for the volume of customers they handle with only about seven employees, I think they do the best as can be expected, so relax people).  Our number was called and I was nervous as hell, but I just asked nicely if it could be “expedited” and she said no problem.  And like that, we had a new title in our hands.

The first thing I did was reschedule for August 24–not only avoiding the period issue, but it’s amazing what a difference saying “August” instead of “September” makes, even though only a week earlier.

Then back to OneMain to submit the title and get my money.

Well, here’s where things took an extremely ugly turn.

Dun dun DUNNNNNNNN (to be continued…)

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One thought on “Control Freaky, Part One: Juggling Cats

  1. Hey, an Easter egg just for me!

    P.S. I can’t wait to find out how this turns out. How dare you hang me over a cliff? 😉

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