Why Doesn’t Bill Gates Want Me To Make Money?

I work from home as a medical transcriptionist. The money isn’t the best, but the commute can’t be beat. Or, for that matter, working in one’s pyjamas.

However, I deal with the daily crap shoot of how my computer will perform. 98% of the time there’s no issue. But every once in awhile, for reasons if I understood I’d be working in IT and probably making a proper paycheck, I’ll turn it on and nothing will happen. Well, I’ll get to the desktop and no further, not for lack of clicking.

Click. Nothing. Not a window opening.  Not an hourglass cursor. Nothing.  I reluctantly click again. More nothing.

It reminds me of this all too accurate cartoon:

Printer brat

I know better than to keep clicking. That’s what Tery, normally possessing the patience of a saint, does. She clicks 15 or 20 times, then doesn’t understand why the poor thing seizes up attempting to comply.

So I click very sparingly. Sometimes I get the delightful “Your program has encountered a problem and needs to close.” This makes me happy, because it means that something tried to happen, which is preferable to it staring back at me, smug in its inactivity.

Today was a full-on five solitaire game day; I play solitaire on my phone while waiting, otherwise my blood pressure slowly ratchets up until I want to punch the monitor — which would be hugely unfair, because the monitor is performing its duties flawlessly, without complaint, but hitting a nondescript black box wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying. Sometimes I can bear it no longer and I let out guttural screams of impotent rage, which unfairly alarms my cats.

What I really want to punch is Microsoft, or I suppose Bill Gates. I shelled out hundreds of dollars for this machine (well, actually, it’s supplied by my employer, but SOMEBODY shelled out hundreds of dollars); I shouldn’t be putting up with this shit. I use Windows XP because, from what I’ve seen, it’s the last version that got almost everything right. ME was a complete disaster. I managed to give Vista a miss, and I’m still waiting for them to fix 7, even while they’re launching 8. I made the best decision of my life when I jumped the Internet Explorer ship for Google Chrome, because IE is almost universally recognized to totally suck ass. I also don’t appreciate Bing trying to force itself on me at every turn like some guy at the school dance who won’t take the hint. Piss off, Microsoft; Google and I are very happy together.

What I’m trying to say is, you practically have a monopoly, Microsoft. Can you try to get something right before hustling out the next version?

Nearly an hour and two reboots later, whatever was gunking up my circuits clears and I finally log into work, only to find no reports waiting for me.  That made me happy, and it  must have made Bill very happy.

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