Getting Civil Unionized

Colorado just legalized civil unions this week. Umm, yay?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m deeply grateful for whatever rights our faceless representatives see fit to grant me (sarcasm; more later), but “getting civil unionized (united?)” just doesn’t trip off the tongue like “getting married.”

This can’t really be called a victory, but since Colorado voters succeeded in amending our constitution to include bigotry, it’s the best we can do for now.

But I’m progressive in that I believe the government shouldn’t be in the business of doling out civil rights or legislating morality.  I believe what happens between consenting adults is their business and no one else’s.  Even people who think marriage should be between a man and twenty women (or a woman and twenty men, or ten women and eleven men, but now I’ll admit it’s getting weird), as long as all twenty-one of them agree, knock yourselves out. I believe this even though those Mormon hypocrites think the gays are bad, bad, bad.

Note the key words here: consenting adults. That rules out children and pets, for the hysterical among us who think gay is a gateway drug to complete anarchy.

I believe people have the right to believe what they believe.  I believe that right ends where my rights begin, and they do NOT have the right to force me to live by their beliefs (as long as I’m not hurting anyone).

I’m encouraged by the accelerated progress we’ve made–we’re further along already in this century than all other centuries combined–but still hindered by the pigheaded but vocal minority that refuses to spot the trend and acknowledge that we’re going to continue moving forward, with or without them. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and these squeaky wheels have been standing between me and my rights long enough.

This week’s big news is the Ohio Republican senator who suddenly changed his tune because his gay son came out. I love what sex advice columnist Dan Savage said: It’s terrific that he came around, but was it so hard to have a shred of empathy for the many parents of gay children before it happened to him? Apparently yes. He thinks Republicans have a fundamental disconnect from compassion until they find themselves in the same situation. Like Rush Limbaugh, who had nothing but contempt for drug addicts until his little secret came out.

I personally believe people who have such a tragic inability to relate to fellow humans who aren’t exactly like them have no business representing them in government. What chance do the poor have? The unemployed? The handicapped? Anyone who can’t afford a congressman?

Civil unionized

Tery and I have been together for 21 years. Our relationship, to my knowledge, hasn’t affected anyone else’s (though evidently that could change if we were allowed the word “marriage.”)  She’s the love of my life and I can’t imagine myself with anyone else when I’m old and gray (well, already there for that second one).  If your marriage is so easily threatened, I think you should spend more time worrying about what you’re doing wrong and less time worrying because we’re doing something right.

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4 thoughts on “Getting Civil Unionized

  1. This feels like a weird sort of back-handed compliment though I swear I mean well: I like the way this layout looks in the WordPress app. The header size is perfect.

    One could argue that many Mormon women are not truly able to consent to their husbands’ multiple marriages (even putting aside the “child brides” scenario) because they’ve been indoctrinated into that cult since birth, but I see where you’re going with that.

    My question: why do people feel so comfortable electing representatives who are disinclined to empathy? They aren’t hiding it and they aren’t (always) fixing the ballots. Surely some blame lies in the voters.

    I share your opinion of people who are unable to empathize with situations by which they are not affected, but I also find some hope in Portman’s story. Think of how relieved his son must have been to find out that not only could his parents to accept him, but that their love for him could force them to reconsider their stance on homosexuality altogether. This is how culture wars are won – not by idealists, but by middle Americans slowly realizing that the people they love are directly affected by the issue. This is why coming out is imperative.

    Half a victory or not, congratulations on living in a state which is at least willing to take a step in the right direction. When are you two going to start threatening hetero marriages?

  2. You and Tery have already been together longer than most hetero marriages last — you deserve the right to marry each other. I never thought about it the way you put it — about the accelerated progress we’ve made in the last century alone. I can only hope that one day, all of this will be one of those chapters in history books that make kids say, “Wow, I can’t even imagine it used to be like that!”

    P.S. Welcome to WordPress! You were one of 4 LJs that I receive email notifications for each time there’s an update, so that’s how I found your new digs. ❤

  3. Nicole: Thank you. I’m basically happy with it. Not a fan of how the left column is static as you scroll down, but that’s probably not an issue on the mobile version.

    Ah, good point. Guess “consent” is relative. But good luck trying to impose restrictions based on religious preference. We’ve all seen how well that goes over. Can’t have THOSE rights stomped on.

    I agree with poor choices of elected officials, but I can’t pretend to be free of blame. I don’t research my candidates’ compassion levels before going to the ballot box either. I think there should be a more involved process to qualify you for the position than campaign funds and citizen votes, but don’t see that happening soon either.

    Absolutely, it’s great that his father didn’t go the other way, as I’m sure plenty do. But again, that inherent lack of compassion for people in situations other than your own is disturbing to me, and makes someone a little less than human in my eyes. I mean, I hate people (as we know) but I can empathize with them. I can’t believe it’s so hard for elected officials.

    Agreed. I’d like to think our hard work of undermining our neighbors’ marriages has already begun!

  4. Erin: Thank you for your support. Crap like Britney Spears’ whirlwind 16-hour Vegas “marriage” irks me. Some straight people treat their marriage certificate like…well, like toilet paper. Maybe if they had to fight for the right, they’d appreciate it a little more. And don’t get me started on the “sanctity of marriage” assholes who haven’t lifted a finger against the institution of divorce. I wish they’d just be honest and admit they’re against it because gay sex is icky. I’d respect them a smidge more.

    You’ve been out of my daily feed for too long, since LJ won’t let you subscribe to non-LJ people. I’m excited to have you back 🙂

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